Monday, December 10, 2007

On Spoiling

Jackson is spoiled! He is my last baby and I am enjoying each and every moment. He has been a great baby from day one! I think that having one baby is a WHOLE lot easier than having two!!! I have absolutely NO sympathy for those moms that complain about their ONE baby (especially if it is their first). When Joshua and Abby Kate were little it was nearly impossible to please both babies at the same time. When one cried, the other cried. When one ate, the other ate. When one needed to be held, the other was right there with us. Thankfully, we had them on the same sleep schedule, so that was huge help. In order to keep up with the demands of two babies, I was one organized scheduler. (It helps that I am that way by nature and it is the only way that I can function). The most frustrating part of caring for two babies was that I could not meet every need immediately. Someone was always left in want of being held or played with. When both babies cried at the same time, I had to see whose needs were more pressing and meet that child's needs first while trying to "gently" pacify the other.

With Jackson, things have been quite different. I am more laid back about the "schedule" thing. I do not let the schedule dictate our time together. Instead, I go with the flow that Jackson has created. If he is hungry, I will feed him. I do not try and "hold him off". If three hours have passed since his last feed, then I will feed him when he wants to eat. I know that after eating, Jackson will play for about an hour to an hour and a half and then be ready to take a nap. I do not lay him down to rest at a set time each day. Yes, he still gets in his naps, they are just according to the last time that he ate. I am working on dropping one of the nighttime feeds. He has done this for the past few nights very well. He will still wake up, but Jason will kindly go into his room and put him back to sleep for me.

Jackson moved into his own room this week. I was clearly not ready for this, but he was. I still hold him while he falls asleep. He can and will lay down in his crib and fall asleep on his own, but I don't want him to. Unfortunately, this will all change soon. I know that he needs to go to bed on his own or I will be stuck putting him to bed like this for the next 2 1/2 years. I still swaddle him to sleep. He loves to have a burp cloth near his face (this is a good thing seeing as how he loves them all and I don't have to have that "one" special thing). The burp cloth is clearly his "lovey", but I am looking for a good name. "Lovey" is not really a good "boyish" name. Any suggestions?

I cannot stand to hear him cry. If he cries, I pick him up. Why should I let my baby cry if he only wants to be held? This time will pass way to quickly. Last night while saying prayers with Abby Kate, I pulled her up into my lap to cuddle. I was amazed at how BIG she was in my lap!

Jackson has a schedule. I know that he must nap and be feed and have play time. The only difference with him is that I let him dictate those times. I am not watching the clock anticipating what is coming up next. I definitely feel more in tune with what Jackson is wanting or needing. I know that I can meet each of his needs and I do that in a timely manner. I once read that you cannot "spoil" a child during the first 6 months of life. When you meet your child's needs immediately, you are instilling in them trust! I am enjoying each moment. These moments are very short and they will all end sooner than I will want them too. So for now, I am spoiling my baby and we both love it!

9 comments:

Jason said...

It's true...the kid is pretty rotten. He's gotta Mommy wrapped around his fat little finger.

As for a name for the "lovey", how about "burpy"? That sounds more manly.

Kenny Simpson said...

He definately favors you and Abby Kate (sorry Jason at least you got Joshua) in that picture.

THE MORROW FAMILY said...

I can definitely sympathize, Sunny, to everything you talked about relating to the twins. You know I can. :) We're all about "the schedule" in our house, too...we have to be or life would be even more crazy and chaotic than it already is. Thankfully, I am VERY organized and a planner by nature, too. However, it does get old from time to time...having to be that way and not being able to just up and go and do whatever we want any day of the week. It will get easier as they get older, I know. I would be the same way you are if I had another ONE...which more than likely won't happen, but we are definitely content with what God has given us. :) At times I wish I had that experience of just having ONE, but can't imagine my life any different. We both have gotten to experience something that not a lot get to experience. Don't blame you, though, for spoiling Jackson and giving him a lot of attention because you weren't able to do that as much with the twins. I can understand that. I just say enjoy it...worry about the spoiling when he gets a little older.

chesley said...

Good for you! I can't imagine trying to please 2 at once. I spoiled Grant, and still do.. at least for another few weeks, even though I know it needs to stop soon (or should've already). Just last night, Andy tried to put him to bed but he cried for me, so I went in his room to do it. His daddy didn't understand, but I told him I only have another month or so before I have to worry about another one, so if I can please him now by just being there, I'm going to do it. I totally understand what you're saying & think that you'll treasure all of those memories you're making with Jackson.

alice said...

Awesome post. We seem to have the same "baby philosophy." I'm glad you are able to enjoy Jackson so much. Just my pet peeve, but it annoys me when people talk about spoiling babies by holding them all the time. I think this is the way its SUPPOSED to be. Modern society has gotten it all messed up in trying to make babies independant sooo early. You are wise to soak up every moment with your precious children.

sherri said...

I agree. I spoiled all 4 of mine when they were babies, still do sometimes. Enjoy them while you can. They grow up way too fast. Aaron is finishing his first semester of college this week and Emily turns 17 on Sat. Seems like just last week they were babies. Your children are beautiful. You are truly blessed. Thanks for sharing.

Amy said...

"This time will pass way to quickly." - you're so right. And, I agree that you can't spoil them in the first six months.

I miss loving on my babies! They don't really get into that when they are 12 years old.

Although my six year old will still let me rock her on occasion when I ask. :)

laura said...

May called her cloth diaper "Bipee" she got close to hers because she spit up bad bad bad so it was always near her. You will come up with something and Jackson will probably call it close to what you want. Glad you are enjoying and holding. There are times I wish I could go back and enjoy a little more. But on the other hand this is a fun time too. Just diff. Enjoy, and he is such a good baby, spoiled ha they all are.

Supabloggasuprememama said...

so precious. he could be the next gerber baby!!! the non scary version.