Sunday, August 24, 2008

The Demands of Motherhood

My children are demanding!

In fact, they have been demanding since birth. When Jason and I were blessed with twins four years ago, our lives were turned upside down. Right from the very beginning, Jason and I were on "twin time". We were there to meet each and every single need. The first month was a real challenge since we wanted to be up at the hospital every chance they would let us. It was really rough when Abby Kate was home and Joshua was still up at the hospital. I could not get up to the hospital as much as I would have liked since I had to take care of Abby Kate. Jason drove up to that hospital every single night at midnight to make it to the 1:00 AM feed and would get home later that morning and help me out with Abby Kate. Once both of the kids were home, things were manageable with the routine that we created. Jason was so great to get up with me for all of the feeds. When it was time to feed the babies, we would wake both of them up, give them their bottles and then try and get them back down to sleep. On top of that, I would pump after we got the little ones back to bed. We would sleep for about 30-45 minutes and then wake up to do it all over again. Feed time was very long! Things got a little rocky when they both became colicky at the same time. The only time that I ever cried that first year was one night that they both were crying. They were completely inconsolable and Jason was hours away at a Junior High Fall Retreat. That first year I learned a lot about meeting my babies needs. There was no way that I was going to be able to meet both of their needs at the exact same time. Every time that I had both babies crying, I had to assess the situation and see which child needed me the most (or first). It was very difficult and stressful to have both of your babies crying at the same time, a husband at work, a dog that needed out every time things got hectic in the house and family two hours away. On top of that, I had dished that needed washing, piles of laundry that needed washing, a house that needed to be cleaned, meals that needed to be made and errands that needed to be run (and I needed a shower!!!). I learned to manage and somehow we made it to 2008 and our babies are now four year olds.

Now, probably more than ever, I am just about ready to pull out my hair! My children have always been demanding, but now I actually have to hear about it. I can handle the crying! Bring on the crying! What I can't deal with is the attitude, bossiness, temper tantrums, sulking, yelling and WHINING!!!! Oh my, the whining! It gets me every time. "I'm hungry. When are we going to eat breakfast? When are you getting up out of bed? I want cereal. I'm hungry. I need milk. I need a napkin. I need more cereal. What are we going to do today? I need more milk. I have to go potty. What are you doing? What am I going to wear today? Can I have gum? Can I have tic-tacs? I'm done. Can I get down?". And this is not said just once by one four year old. No, it is by both. Even though they just heard their twin ask for the same thing, the other twin feels the need to ask too - for the exact same thing! My day is constantly filled with questions and requests for me to do something else for them. "When is Daddy coming home? Can we watch a show? When can we go outside? I'm hungry again. Mommy, Joshua did _______. Mommy, Abby Kate did _________. Can you get Jackson out of my room? Where are you Mommy? Can I have a sip of water? Can I have a snack? Will you get down my crayons? I'm cold. I can't hear the radio. I'm hot. Where are we going now?".

I try my very best to meet each child's need every day. Sometimes I sigh or tell them that it will be a moment, but I really try and respond as soon as I can. What drives me crazy is that I am usually doing for them exactly what they are asking me at any given moment. I must say that the meals are usually the worst. I also have a 14 month old that wants to eat, too! Life in this house is usually chaotic. I still have dishes to wash, meals to prepare, clothes to wash, errands to run, rooms to dust and vacuum, menu's to plan, groceries to buy, money to budget, bills to pay, fingernails and toenails to cut, babies to bathe, toys to pick up, bottoms to wipe, diapers to change, hair to brush, teeth to brush, light bulbs to change, weeds to pull, plants to water, beds to make and order to keep!

But you know what, I wouldn't change it all for anything! Sure, motherhood is demanding! Twins are demanding! Keeping a house is demanding! But, I am loving and enjoying each and every minute. I hope that my children know that I would do anything for them. They are the joys of my life!

(Even though I sigh! A lot!!!)


Jason said...

I know things are pretty demanding around here, but I think you handle it all really well. I'm proud of you and the mother that you are. Keep it up, baby.


You read my mind tonight, Sunny. I was thinking about writing a similar post soon...except we are back where you were a couple of years the terrible two's!!! Oh me, oh my! I feel like I am losing my sanity some days. We left during church tonight because there was no Kids Praise and my kids were going CRAZY in the cry room. Ask anybody else that was in there. It was wild! Training them to sit through church quietly is not easy when all they have known is going to the nursery to play. Things are just different with kids that are the same age. People can argue otherwise, but it's the truth. Believe you me...I can relate to EVERYTHING you said. I am thinking that it has to get easier when my kids get to 3 or so, though. I'm telling myself that to make me feel better. (They will be potty trained, can almost dress themselves, won't be as messy when they're eating, will be easier to go places, etc.). I know in some ways it won't be easier, but them gaining the independence will be HUGE for us!

TARA said...

I remember those days! Hope was my worst whiner and constantly asked questions. I started telling her after I'd reached my limit of question answering, that Mommmy was out of words and couldn't answer any more questions until she had more words to use. That worked for her - for a while anyway. Then there's alawys the bathroom to lock yourself in! Unless your ghost is in there.

Jamey said...

Amen sister...on all accounts. Take it one minute at a time!

chesley said...

I can't imagine all that x's 2! I've been trying to explain to Grant that sometimes we just need to be quiet and not's constant talking, whining, begging, etc. etc. After a long day at work listening to grown ups do the same thing, it's the last thing I want to hear (even though his little voice is the sweetest). Sounds like you handle it all with grace. I hate to admit that I usually don't.

Jess said...

I sigh a lot too! I was just talking to my hubby the other day about how our kiddos are so demanding. Each one always has a need and it is usually all at the same time, while I am already trying to fulfill a previous request. Sometimes I tell them to stop and let me catch up because I am only one person. That usually makes them laugh. It is so joyful and so stressfull. So wonderful and so tiring. Praise God for our blessings! Keep up the good work and know that you are not the only mommy drowning in the constant requests. Now, if we can only figure out how to grow a few extra arms we'd have it all made!